July 31, 2012

Past, Present, Future

Carrie Underwood just came out with a song named "Blown Away." It's really about a girl with terrible parents, but the chorus relates to the way I feel about my past. So, I'm going to get cheesy here and put the chorus lyrics up.

"Shatter every window 'til it’s all blown away,
Every brick, every board, every slamming door blown away
'til there’s nothing left standing,
Nothing left of yesterday
Every tear-soaked whiskey memory blown away,
Blown away"

Now that high school is over for me, I look back and realize how much pain I was going through. There was always a problem with the ways I did things, there was always something wrong with me. I surrounded myself with the people who I thought accepted me for who I was, but really, I changed myself to fit what they wanted from me. The only people that I could be myself with, were the people that I pushed away. I regret it everyday but there isn't anything I can do about it now. So the purpose of this blog is for me to say this: This is the last time I talk about my past. This is the last time I look back and regret things. What's done is done. The Haley I am now, the blunt, awkward, moody, crazy, shy, nerdy girl, is the real me and that was the last time I change myself for anyone. I'm truly happy now and can only remember one time that I was happier than I am now. (And that time would be the time that I got to eat a dozen doughnuts by myself. But let's be honest, who wouldn't be happy if they could eat a dozen doughnuts.) So in the words of Carrie Underwood, this is me shattering the windows of my past.

Today, I taught my sweet puppy how to sit on command. Wanna see him? He's super cute.

Ya'll thought I forgot to say my catch phrase. Silly. Of course I didn't. Checkmate, ya'll.

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